Crazy Doesn't Cover It

the next few days are going to be rough. I can just see it coming. I meant to call Jon today but I never got the chance. I saw "March of the Penguins" today. It was pretty good, it made me cry. haha. I really want to see "Saint Ralph", it looks really cute, plus it's a comedy so yeah. I also want to see "Pride and Prejudice" with Keira Knightely. I've been having anxiety dreams. GREAT. that's just what i need. Strange couple of days lately. A lot of things cleared up for me, others just became more complicated. I have to mentally prepare myself to be disappointed on Wednesday. We're having the Jr. Guards banquet, and i'm pretty confident that I'm not going to get an award. I mean it's not a huge deal, but it looked like it was in reach for a while there. whatever. I'm in a slump right now. I have to go to the running doctor on monday. he's probably just going to tell me that i'm not a runner. (i'm a person who runs but not a naturally gifted runner). go figure. two parents who run marathons and i can't run because one of my legs is longer than the other. among other things. that's peachy. then on tuesday i have to babysit. now i thoroughly enjoy babysitting but the little things that i love about it like the fact that they make me run around and play with them instead of just expecting me to sit and watch. those start to hurt if you've just been at the beach for 6 hours running and swimming and whatever else. then on wednesday is the banquet, like i've already said. the one thing i like about the banquet is that I can finally dress in regular clothes and show people that I'm really not as ugly as they've seen me for the past 3 1/2 weeks. I dunno what I'm doing on Thursday, just jr. guards I suppose. Friday is Wild Rivers day. yesssss. that should be pretty fun. i hope so anyways. I think i have to wear my red bathing suit. cuuute. hahaha. oh well, it will be a nice opportunity to make nick look stupid. I dunno how yet but i'll figure it out. I'm going to have cross country the week after next. Well actually it's starting next week but I won't be there because of Jr. Guards. How disappointing. I know that I should try to be optimistic and not let the fact that my parents (erhmm father) pushed me into cross country ruin the sport for me but geeze, what do you expect? I'm tired and I'm currently in the mood to crawl into a hole and die. Well no, not die. just hibernate until cross country season is over. And when I awake I want all of my problems to be solved. People who I want to forget about me will have forgotten, people who I want to remember me will remember. What a life...


how 'bout the way he acts. oh no, that's not the way, and you're not listening to all i say...